I was lost for so many years. I was living with alcoholism. I was terribly confused about the meaning of “compassion” when I came to my senses. I thought it meant making excuses for the alcoholic or covering bad checks. Along the way I find another word for this behaviour. “enabling”. I learned that when I cleaned up the consequences of alcoholic behaviour, I enabled the alcoholic to continue drinking comfortably and acting out without having to pay the price. A more compassionate way to respond to those I love might be to allow them to face the consequences of their actions, even when it will cause them pain.
How do I know that whether a particular action is enabling? While this is not always clear, I find it helpful to look carefully at my motives. Am I trying to interfere with the natural consequences of a loved one’s choices? Am I trying to do for someone what they could do for themselves? Am I doing what I think is best for me? If so, is it really a loving choice? Sometimes the most compassionate thing I can do is to let others take responsibility for their behaviour.
Today, remember you have a choice, and so does the alcoholic. Make the best choices you can and allow others in your life to do the same without interference.
I MUST LEARN TO GIVE THOSE I LOVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE THEIR OWN MISTAKE AND RECOGNIZE THEM AS THEIRS ALONE.