There are many times when I doubt the existence of anything that cares about what goes on in this world, let alone in my life. Being agnostic, doubt comes easily to me; belief is difficult.
But then I think of how someone guided me to knowing God and His existence when my life was at its darkest. I reflect on times when the words and music of certain songs have given me courage to go on with life when it might have been easier to give up. I remember that I am encouraged by the honesty of people who share their innermost thoughts in our christian group meetings week after week, year after year. I am aware that, deep down, there s a part of me that wants what in good for me, that pushes me to seek peace, happiness, direction, and wholeness in my life. ” And I doubt my doubts “.
When you feel far away from the presence of God, just close your eyes and open your heart and listen carefully. There’s a small voice with in you that gives you comfort and tranquility.
EVERY NOW AND THEN TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT SOMETHING NOT MADE WITH HANDS— A MOUNTAIN, A STARS, THE TURN OF A STREAM. THERE WILL COME TO YOU WISDOM AND PATIENCE AND SOLACE AND, ABOVE ALL, THE ASSURANCE THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD.
Who am I? I thought I knew the answer to that question, but I discovered that my answers were all out-of date because I had long ago stopped asking myself who I was. I could tell you about the the alcoholics and everyone else in my life—- their likes and dislikes, opinions, feelings—– but I had no such answers for myself of who I am.
Making a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself and sharing it with a trusted friend were especially helpful. It was the first time in a long time I had paid so much attention to myself! I also learned about myself by listening in meetings—- when I identified with others, I gained insight into my own thoughts and feelings.
Today I know that I am passionate, generous,opinionated, moody, honest, tactful, stubborn person. I know how I feel and what I think on an assortment of topics, And I am aware when these thoughts and feelings change. I thank God, He’s giving me back the only thing was ever really mine to keep: myself.
Recovery is a wonderful word. It means getting something back. Today try to remember that that something is you.
IF A MAN HAPPENS TO FIND HIMSELF….. HE HAS A MANSION WHICH HE CAN INHABIT WITH DIGNITY ALL THE DAY OF HIS LIFE.
Take care everyone! Until next time :).