Where are you at this time? Are you with your husband, wife, family, boy friend/girl friend, a group, a club? or you’re by yourself alone hoping for a miracle that someone will knock your door and sweep your feet off the ground. Are you alone crawled under your sheet crying your ball out? Do you suffered the end of a love relationship? I understand how you feel.
Friday night. There’s no better feeling than to be with the love of your life. I get that. Where Am I? Now, it’s 10:45pm, in my studio, working until I could not think of anything but sleep.
I gave my whole heart to one man, and one man only, And he broke it many times. Do I still love that man? Yes, unconditionally.
Good-bye. When you say that very significant “good-bye” which means Finally, it’s over. This is the end of an us. I am not going back there again. I can’t. Or I won’t.” ( But, we’re too weak to follow through. We relapse )
After that, a door closes for the very last time, or a telephone handset is placed in its cold, hard cradle, leaving only stillness and that ache of a final good-bye. It’s too soon to be tempered with any faint flecks of hope that it’s now time, perhaps, to begin to move on.
If you’ve shared a deep and special intimacy with someone, and now that intimacy has ended, you will suffer a loss equal to all of the meaning that relationship once had for you. And if you can’t learn from your own mistakes, which played a part of that loss, your mistakes will pursue you in hauntingly familiar ways. Your loss may provoke a wide assortment of negative emotions.
Your specific feelings will depend on the way you parted. Shame, grief, fear, loneliness, rage, jealousy, vengefulness, scorn, and humiliation, felt alone or in combination, are just some of the dark side emotions. But so long as these emotions haven’t gotten the best of you, so long as you know that your pain will pass in time, you’re on your way to recovery. I loss 20 years of my youth dwelling on the relationship that offered me nothing. Do I learned from that mistakes? Yes, I do.
Healing. first, requires you to accept that your intimate relationship is over. DONE. ENDED. FINISHED.
If you believe you can end an important romantic relationship by immediate becoming “just friend”, Think again. My advice to you is to forget this idea. When the romantic commitment that underlies a loving relationship dies, it almost always takes time for the person who feels “dumped” to recover his/her balance.
If your relationship truly is over, you’ve got to give yourself a chance to recover. The person you’ve parted from is like a drug to you now. Another “hit” will only maintain your addiction. Accept that it’s over, now.